Quiet Saturday and Naps For Adults

Today was a sleepy Saturday. I woke up a few times on and off but just let my body tell me when it was ready to wake up. I slept for a while, until noon then went downstairs. I made myself some chia seed and fruit smoothie for breakfast and then made myself a cup of tea.

David and I cleaned up the studio/library and sorted through a bunch of stuff we had laying around. I made some tea, Passionate Love from @katesmagik.  It is delightful and very tasty, fruity and yet not too much.

We went grocery shopping for a few needed items but while we were out the fibro started kicking my butt so we stopped our shopping trip after Big Lots.  Giant has a cute Twinings section, so I took a picture. I didn't buy any but it was a cool photo. David teased me about "my habit" but it was cute teasing.

Anyway, it is an early night tonight since my body is a bit pained. I included collages of my day.

You Cannot Buy Happiness...You Can Buy Tea..

So I asked the guys if we could go to my favorite shop of all time, ever, +Heaven & Nature.  We walked in and the incense and wonderful happiness of Fairys, Angels, Dragons, and Deity statues greeted us along with their wonderful staff.  I absolutely adore them and tend to buy most of my holiday and birthday presents for family and friends there since they always have at least one thing I know someone wants or needs.

Anyway, any time you go into the shop they always ask if you want a cup of tea while you browse.  Isn't that wonderful and amazing?  I think so!  Anyway, usually it is a local blend or a +Nuwati Herbals tea blend that they put together right there.  So, after the absolute crap day we had, I really needed to shop for some tea things as well as try to get my Zen from the peace and sanctuary of a warm and inviting place, surrounded by the things that matter the most to me (besides David and fr/amily of course).

Below are the photos I posted to Instagram, Twitter and FB...but I wanted to share the why and how...also to plug for my favorite shop.  Yep - shamelessly supporting a "New Age" shop I adore and want to thrive forever.  If you're ever in the Hburg area and want an amazing shop and moment to collect your spirit from it's aimless wandering, stop in Heaven & Nature.  Better yet, tell me when you're going and I will meet you there and we can shop in the happy bliss of incense and pretty energy.  LOVE ya!  Good night!

I have wanted a tea infuser with style and stars and moons is surely my style.

These are spiritually "themed" pottery pieces that I think are just perfect for the happy spiritual person in our lives.  I have so many mugs already or I would have bought some.

+Dryad Tea is wonderful - I really need to get those reviews posted.  I should get you at least one tomorrow.

Kate's Magik are Teas created with intent and spiritual focus.  They are also tasty...I fully support awesome action with tea.  I will be trying the Passionate Love blend tomorrow.

So...Springtime is Starting Out With Snow...?

Hey all, sorry for going silent for two days, I haven’t been feeling very good, the changes in temp have been wreaking havoc on my body and for whatever reason I am going through a pretty insane amount of pain at the most awkwardly weird times.

Had a really good work day on Wednesday...but apparently it went down hill.  I did Pilates on Wednesday evening and had to opt out of several moves and actions.  Which was upsetting in itself, then I had to deal with feeling like my body could not figure out which mood it was in, so I was excited from Pilates and then calming down and happy.  I had two beers at the bar (where I met the guys after class) and immediately felt intoxicated.  I know many of you don’t know my drinking habits but while I have become a far more relaxed one drink every-so-often person I have never been affected by alcohol that way.  We got home and all I was having for “drunkenness” was a crappy buzzed feeling.  I evened out all right but kept feeling cold, which made me shiver, and ultimately made me have pain so I started to bundle up and when I did I got weepy and started burning up.  Let me tell you, I felt like a mess.  I took a shower and just tried to relax enough to go to sleep.

I barely woke up on Thursday, so when I got into work I made myself a cup of +Zest Tea Earl Grey Black tea and after two pots started to feel somewhat like a human.  My body was having pain spikes and lethargy like crazy and I made sure to have proper hydration in addition to the tea.  I actually fell asleep (in the break room) at lunch, David woke me up so I could go back to work and then was lethargic and dragging for the rest of the day.  I could tell the +Zest Tea had helped but I couldn’t get the fibro to calm down so I was expending spoons like I owned a spoon store (I have no idea why I used that as my visual). 

I was planning on going downstairs and spending time with David in the studio/library when we got home but I sat down on the bed and immediately fell asleep.  David woke me up at one point to see if I was ok and to get some dinner.  Scott and Cole made tacos, they were tasty.  I ate and then I immediately moved to the studio to spend time with David.  I don’t know what happened but he suggested going to bed early, I am assuming I fell asleep again without realizing it.  I couldn't get my brain to work in full sentences and I just seemed to have no energy what-so-ever.


This morning was NOT a good day.  I was thinking about calling in but decided to come to work.  I don’t know if I thought that the First Day of Spring would actually make the day not suck or what but we immediately had a meeting at 9am.  Not good news for some of my staff and I was so pissed off from feeling blindsided and expected to work miracles I almost mouthed off twice.  The same issue I ran into with the crazy emotions hit again and I was unable to control the amount of rage I was feeling.  I dropped a few curse words and actually felt like punching someone in the face.  I am glad I was able to control myself enough to not get fired or arrested though I definitely do not have a poker face.


I am having a “Poor Man’s Dirty Chai”, with +Starbucks coffee and +Tazo Tea Original Chai, now and am just trying to breathe as we figure out what to do with work assignments and such.  NOT the way I wanted to end my week and NOT how we should start off the Spring Season.  OH!  And fine First Day of Spring it is…it’s SNOWING!  I am looking forward to a quiet weekend so I can try to get my emotions in check and let my body rest from whatever battle it seems to be undertaking.  Love to you all!  Many more opportunities for tea and relaxation soon.

And Sometimes A Good Day Ends In Tears

I apologize that today I am going to abstain from my usual blog posts. I don't feel well.  Had a good day/evening with Pilates and Pilates Reformer classes but some gut-wrenching moments that just ended my day as they built up.  So I am crying and don't have the energy for a full blog post.  I love you all.  Tomorrow will be a better day and I will regale you with stories of Cthulhu's and my tea adventures and the mighty undead hordes we slay after a full pot of tea.

Have a great evening.

Cthulhu Has Elected Himself Mascot & We Had A ZESTY Day!

So I told you all yesterday about receiving the sample package from +Zest Tea and how I was looking forward to trying their tea today because it has "as much caffeine as coffee" and it was after 5 o'clock when I got home and opened the package.

OK!  So I took Cthulhu to work with me today...I am starting to think that Cthulhu has elected himself the Mascot (or co-mascot if Toothless has anything to say about it) for Tea Leaf Therapy.  I am ok with this and will probably continue having all my staged photos with Cthulhu and the teas I am drinking.  I never take myself too seriously and since I am a geek princess I thought I'd just keep going with life as usual.  Today was also St. Patrick's Day so I was making sure I had as much green as possible, since my office does a theme thing for holidays.

I wore a professional and tasteful green dress with black bolero and orange scarf, I couldn't find any white articles of clothing that would suit for over clothing (surprise surprise the goth hippie chick doesn't have a lot of white), so I accessorized without expecting anyone to ask what white I had on (if you understand my meaning).  Cthulhu had a shamrock necklace that I did not put on him for any photos for the blog...not sure why...

Anyway, got into work and had some staffing changes to figure out...nothing too big on my end, so I am not worried just a little more chaos in my already crazy chaotic world.

I was REALLY excited to start with the +Zest Tea Pomegranate Mojito Green Tea, being that was one of the teas I was very much wanting to try.  The Pomegranate Mojito Green Tea was DELICIOUS!  It was smooth and tasty, the green tea was a very good blend and the pomegranate gave a delightful tart and fruit taste that didn't overpower too much.  I almost died from happiness as the aroma of the tea was exactly what you would expect from the name and YES it did taste like lime and mint!  I am a bit sad it doesn't have an alcohol content haha but hey it was great!  Cthulhu approved as well.

I usually get two and a half cups out of the PUGG teapot and that was what I was able to make and drink this morning before my first set of running around the office.  I am happy to report that whether it was in my head or they actually delivered, I had a bounce in my step and was very awake after I finished the pot.  I am willing to say that I usually am NOT a morning person and I hate being super chatty early at work and I was ok after a cup or so to actually smile and be engaging with coworkers.  Yes, I laugh at myself a lot for being a zombie in the morning.

So, after the first round of questions and paperwork filing and usual morning tasks, I decided was not going to waste any time and I needed to try the Blue Lady black tea next.  Holy wow does this tea SMELL amazing!  I was so happy after I opened the packet and got a good smell of the tea bag that this was only going to get better when I added water for the brew.

The color is a good black tea brew and the smell is just if not more tasty than the scent of the tea bag contents before water.  The tea was delectable and I am already sad it is a sample.  So it seems that +Zest Tea has a devoted customer and fan now.  If not two...but I am not sure Cthulhu really counts in that totaling.  Several of my staff members came over while I was drinking this tea and they were very interested as the aroma was very enticing.  I offered up some cups though everyone was mid-work-action so maybe tomorrow for break.

Well, to say I was very awake after about two and a half cups (making the total 5 cups of caffeinated tea) would be an understatement.  I felt good all day and I made it without a crash all the way to the end of the afternoon.  I don't want to count any companies out but besides +One Good Woman & +Tea Hugger, I think +Zest Tea is now another favorite.

Well, tonight was another quiet evening with David in the studio and the cats all deciding to join us.  It is a nice laid back night and I am thinking of turning in early(ish).  Good night all and I hope you have pleasant dreams (may your saving throws always roll above the DC).

I Have Fuzzy Mouse Slippers On & Yummy Chaibos To Drink

Me and my fresh haircut

So - new haircut makes for a happy Em.  YAY!  And the weather seems to be agreeing with my hair decision so I am not freezing.  Still thinking of getting my hair dyed black with blue tips...not like I have a lot of hair to dye.  maybe I should start using the shampoo that B uses to make it different colors...but I think I have to have her cute light hair to make that work.  LOL.

It was a really nice day outside, today was 58°.  We haven't been having the snow dump that the Northeast is having, but we have had some seriously cold days.  Now that the weather seems to have decided to make up its mind, we are able to enjoy a more reasonable temperatures.  I only had the tea I mentioned in my prior post today, until I got home.

Tasty tea from Voila! in Frederick

By the way, the tea I am mentioning from the earlier post is "Angel's Kiss" from Voila! in Frederick (MD).  It really is delightful and I really had a nice day just drinking this tea.  I felt a little like I was letting the other teas down by not having something else, but I wanted to enjoy my early birthday present.  AND it is wicked tasty.  I included a picture of the tin, my mug full of tea, and the business card that was included.  Isn't Jacquie a sweetie?  I think so.  I probably drive her nuts telling her how wonderful she is but she is, so why hide it? *BOUNCE* (see what I did their Jacquie?)

Zest Tea sent me some samples and swag.  The stone calendar
belongs to David and I, it was a wedding present from
Jill & Elissa.  Isn't it cool?  Anyway...tea!  I love their slogan!

I received a package in the mail today from +Zest Tea.  I was really excited since this is one that I was looking forward to, there were three small samples and one large tin with satchels and several stickers as swag.  I was wicked excited and did a little happy dance.  You might've seen my several Instagram photos.  If not, I have included them here:


I was very excited for the Pomegranate Mojito Green Tea.  It's actually one I've been looking at for a while, and now I get to sample it.  Because +Zest Tea has as much caffeine as a cup of coffee, it really wasn't in my best interest or the interest of sleep for me to drink after five o'clock.so I get to look forward to having Zest Tea tomorrow.  I will be far more awake at work tomorrow.

Earl Grey, Apple Cinnamon, and
Blue Lady tea - all smell delicious!

So I understand that apparently the last two days I have gotten a really introspective and I hope that you all will continue to put up with my random musings and insane wild thoughts.  Because in amongst all of the calm that tea gives me there a lot of random thoughts that go through my head that are probably going to make it into this blog.

You might be amused to find that while I'm dictating this blog through Dragon and I have a Cthulhu head staring at me, it's a little surreal.  But then again I am a bit of a Cthulhu weirdo.  Don't worry, concerned citizens, I haven't joined a cult…… Yet.

Well everyone, it seems like it is already nine o'clock and while I love writing random things to and for you, I am ready to start settling in for bed.  Before I go to bed though, I am having a cup of tea.  I wanted a Chai without the issue of caffeine, so I am ending my night with "Organic Chaibos" from +Tea Hugger.  It's a delicious organic rooibos blended with cinnamon, cardamom pods, ginger, fennel, star anise and cloves.  Very tasty. :)

Good Night All!  Sleep Well! hehehe

I Am the Velveteen Rabbit (and So Are You)

So once again, sitting over a cup of tea I am musing philosophically.  (Yes, while at work) I find myself thinking of a lot of things as I go through the usual reports and motions of the day.  I am not ignoring my work; I am working and thinking on fifty different things, as most of you probably do.  The reason I am writing my musing in this blog is because it is something I am thinking, it is also a “Tea Musing” and I told you all from the start that the blog was about “life, the universe, and tea”.

So before we go any further, I got a wonderful (EARLY) birthday gift from Jacquie of tea and tea buttons!  Tea Buttons are SO COOL!  Also the tea is delicious!  It is a white tea called “Angel’s Kiss” with papaya, pineapple, rose petals, and strawberries.  The Sencha is delicious and gives a good flavor to the brew.  The company is “Voila! In Frederick” and their website is coming soon.  When they come online I will post a link for their site.  Otherwise, very tasty!  Also forgiving for over-steeping and good to re-steep…I was cautious to try the re-steep, the over-steeping happened on my second cup because…I’m at work.

OK, now the “Tea Musing”…Let me start with a quote from the book I referenced in the title of this entry:

“Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'

'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit.

'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.'

'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?'

'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.” – The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams

Have you ever noticed how the things we read as children resonate through the rest of our lives?  When I was young there were several books that my parents gave me that I still quote and love to this day.  Honestly, to say several is a low estimate.  My parents were wonderful and bought me lots of books, my family helped too.  I was a well-read child.  I’ve recently had situations that reminded me of certain sayings or quotes from books I read when I was a child…and several more times over my life.  While thinking about situations in life and hearing these quotes in my head, I fondly remembered how I was “told” about all of these life lessons I would come across, these things that would come my way and how I was equipped for most of these moments; whether at that time I realized it or not.  Most of the things that made me ready for the toughest concepts in life, especially when you really think about them were the lessons I learned from books I read as a child.  The Velveteen Rabbit (one of my favorites) is a big one.

Once again I am brought back to Philosophy.  I find myself pondering “The Velveteen Rabbit” and Martin Buber’s “I and Thou”.  Yes, it seems unlikely that any children’s book is really trying to teach us a philosophical ideal but that’s the beauty of it.  Whether it was intended or not, several children’s books opened the door for us to accept certain facts of life and even paved the way for us to understand deeper ideas.  The specific one that always comes to mind when I read “The Velveteen Rabbit” is the idea that we are looking for someone to SEE us, to recognize us for ourselves and allow that exchange and form a meaningful relationship, if even for a second.  We look for someone who “gets” us, who understands each and every scar and shadow, who is willing to stay when we don’t look “shiny and new”.  Through our life experiences, each person loses their sharp edges and becomes a little less fragile, some people don’t they build up walls and sharp edges to hide their fragility but when they let someone in, when they show their mended cracks and re-sewn buttons…that is when they start healing.  The “funny” part is often that we don’t feel Real until someone loves us, until someone accepts us, when someone finds our flaws as just a part of us and LOVES us.

When we are no longer objects or passing strangers but when a meaningful relationship forms, when we are loved, we find out that an amazing transformation has been happening.  I’m not talking about the “love” that teenagers talk about but the “love” that is subject-to-subject, when we share the unity of being.  Now Buber was talking about this ultimate Thou, and I’m not in the mood for a religious debate or articulation on the intricacies of the whole theory…I am meaning the essential truth of the I-Thou relationship that when we become a whole being, more than an object or goal, we are “Real”.  While I would love to state that Descartes was right about “self-realization”, in this case I find that while I do love myself, I didn’t feel Real until someone else LOVED me. 

Yes, my self-reliant, liberal, feminist brain is going, “Seriously chica, you need ‘a man’ to make you feel Real?!” and my response to that is this, “No, I don’t need ‘a man’ to make me feel Real.  I needed people to see me for me, to LOVE me, to keep recognizing me.  I had been slowly but surely becoming Real through all the experiences of life all the bumps and bruises, all the little ‘L’ love and the big “L” love.  But what I realized was that someone SAW me, someone LOVED me, shabbiness and all and I realized that I was ok being comfortable with all of my life experiences, all the hurts and the smiles alike.  I realized that I was Real…and my self-actualization, my self-love became stronger and settled-in because I was LOVED and someone LOVES me.”

So…for anyone reading this and even for the people that won’t read it…know this, some crazy tea-blogger out there loves you and hopes that someday you come to a point where you LOVE yourself and you recognize and accept that you are LOVED…and that you find that with all your shabbiness and your fur rubbed off that you have become Real.

(BTW, to anyone reading this and remembering that the Velveteen Rabbit ending doesn't end with him living happily ever after with the boy, that isn't where the lesson is.  The lesson is that you are loved and you realize that you are loved and that you love in return.  Love is what makes us Real)

Screw Ideas of Masculine & Feminine - BE AUTHENTIC!

This is also not a post about Tea.  It is a post about life and the musings I had over a cup of tea.  It was a cup of Pearyberry from Tea Hugger actually.  It is delicious and a nice pot to sit with and think about various states of life as we know it.  So there is a little about tea...If you want to drop off now, that's ok.  I got the tea part out early so you don't have to sit through my long diatribe. 

Let me please first start off stating, I apologize to anybody who takes this personally or as a attack. I'm just finding that I'm getting a little bit aggravated with the need or requirement of anyone to tell us to be more masculine or more feminine.  Why not be more authentic?

Obviously we live in a world and society where are feminine and masculine mean different things to different people, where a person's value, and the credibility we lend them is not based on their own definition of masculine or feminine, but on what we perceive.  This whole issue for me comes out of most of my life being identified as being "not feminine enough".  Be this from having short hair, wearing comfortable, non-revealing clothing, speaking bluntly and with my natural tone, walking how the situation necessitates I walk, etc. I think what we do is incorrectly label somebody based on our identification of what makes a woman feminine what makes a man masculine and when those gender identities or gender roles combine or overlap.  I went today to go get my hair done, which meant that my already short hair was going to get a little bit shorter.  While I was discussing the haircut with my hairstylist.  She informed me that though I had asked to have the haircut shorter even up toward the top of my head that she normally didn't do that for women because it was less feminine.  I accepted her statement and have absolutely no issue with the fact that as that is the general perception, she felt the need to caution me.  I politely informed her that I had previously on several occasions had my head completely shaved, which seem to put her a little bit more at ease.  I know several of my feminist brothers and sisters would get a little bit offended by someone taking it upon themselves to inform you what is masculine or feminine, but honestly I was not offended by her warning me.  I'm upset that we "need" to have these qualifiers.

So I say it's put aside these lately subjective qualifications of masculine and feminine and use authenticity.  Authenticity in its philosophical meaning, especially in existentialism, is the degree to which one is true to their inner self, spirit, or character.  Having philosophical authenticity or being authentic means that regardless of outside pressures we accept, embrace, and live our true self.  So whereas I think I look cute with long hair or short hair, but am actually more comfortable with short hair, I want to be authentic to myself without outward qualifiers.  (Yes, I realize I just whittled down some of the greatest thinkers in the world to a discussion on my hair, but this is a minor point to a larger philosophical debate).  By the way, if you're wanting to look up authenticity and existentialist philosophers that wrote about it.  I would suggest reading Jean-Paul Sartre, Albert Camus, Soren Kierkegaard, Fjodor Dostoyevsky, and Friedrich Nietzsche.  I will point out to any interested reader, my husband has been listening as I dictate this through Dragon and he had some choice words about Albert Camus and Dostoyevsky, but mostly because he finds them utterly depressing and insane.  So since I generally like my readership, I should point out to you that existentialism is possibly one of the more aggravating and deeply "disturbing" philosophical veins because of the social ideas and taboos that are discussed.  I should probably also point out it is one of the philosophical views to which I myself strongly believe, but I do freely and completely admit that many of the main thinkers were a bit intense, for lack of better phrasing.  (David says touched...)

Anyway, back on topic… Since I don't generally believe in or push gendered qualifiers.  I think I will make my basic statement here:  Regardless of the social norm.  I wear the clothing that is comfortable for me.  Enjoy the hair styles that are manageable and also an expression of myself, enjoy putting on makeup with conflicting shades of color, like, really strange philosophical thinkers, drink tea at any time of the day, regardless of conventional norms, still absolutely love all of my stuffed animals, will hold the door open for my husband, generally make a lot of the financial decisions, freely allow my insane hormones to make my emotions go haywire, love on my cats insanely, and dictate blogs about tea, life, and the universe.  Not because of anyone telling me what was feminine or masculine, but because I want to be authentic to my true self.

If ultimately being authentically you means you are a male who likes tea cozies and My Little Pony or you're a guy that likes football and beer on Sunday, you are no less or more male, you are no less or more valuable for being authentic.  Whether you're a female who likes pink and wears dresses or thinks that dresses are impractical and heels are stupid, you are no less or more female, you are no less or more valuable for being authentic.  We can be what ever combination of "gendered" norms and still be us.,,if you are living your true self, you are being you.

I will leave you with this quote.  My favorite author ever, Dr. Seuss (probably the greatest Existentialist and one we should immediately share with our kids/society), said,