Let me please first start off stating, I apologize to anybody who takes this personally or as a attack. I'm just finding that I'm getting a little bit aggravated with the need or requirement of anyone to tell us to be more masculine or more feminine. Why not be more authentic?
Obviously we live in a world and society where are feminine and masculine mean different things to different people, where a person's value, and the credibility we lend them is not based on their own definition of masculine or feminine, but on what we perceive. This whole issue for me comes out of most of my life being identified as being "not feminine enough". Be this from having short hair, wearing comfortable, non-revealing clothing, speaking bluntly and with my natural tone, walking how the situation necessitates I walk, etc. I think what we do is incorrectly label somebody based on our identification of what makes a woman feminine what makes a man masculine and when those gender identities or gender roles combine or overlap. I went today to go get my hair done, which meant that my already short hair was going to get a little bit shorter. While I was discussing the haircut with my hairstylist. She informed me that though I had asked to have the haircut shorter even up toward the top of my head that she normally didn't do that for women because it was less feminine. I accepted her statement and have absolutely no issue with the fact that as that is the general perception, she felt the need to caution me. I politely informed her that I had previously on several occasions had my head completely shaved, which seem to put her a little bit more at ease. I know several of my feminist brothers and sisters would get a little bit offended by someone taking it upon themselves to inform you what is masculine or feminine, but honestly I was not offended by her warning me. I'm upset that we "need" to have these qualifiers.
So I say it's put aside these lately subjective qualifications of masculine and feminine and use authenticity. Authenticity in its philosophical meaning, especially in existentialism, is the degree to which one is true to their inner self, spirit, or character. Having philosophical authenticity or being authentic means that regardless of outside pressures we accept, embrace, and live our true self. So whereas I think I look cute with long hair or short hair, but am actually more comfortable with short hair, I want to be authentic to myself without outward qualifiers. (Yes, I realize I just whittled down some of the greatest thinkers in the world to a discussion on my hair, but this is a minor point to a larger philosophical debate). By the way, if you're wanting to look up authenticity and existentialist philosophers that wrote about it. I would suggest reading Jean-Paul Sartre, Albert Camus, Soren Kierkegaard, Fjodor Dostoyevsky, and Friedrich Nietzsche. I will point out to any interested reader, my husband has been listening as I dictate this through Dragon and he had some choice words about Albert Camus and Dostoyevsky, but mostly because he finds them utterly depressing and insane. So since I generally like my readership, I should point out to you that existentialism is possibly one of the more aggravating and deeply "disturbing" philosophical veins because of the social ideas and taboos that are discussed. I should probably also point out it is one of the philosophical views to which I myself strongly believe, but I do freely and completely admit that many of the main thinkers were a bit intense, for lack of better phrasing. (David says touched...)
Anyway, back on topic… Since I don't generally believe in or push gendered qualifiers. I think I will make my basic statement here: Regardless of the social norm. I wear the clothing that is comfortable for me. Enjoy the hair styles that are manageable and also an expression of myself, enjoy putting on makeup with conflicting shades of color, like, really strange philosophical thinkers, drink tea at any time of the day, regardless of conventional norms, still absolutely love all of my stuffed animals, will hold the door open for my husband, generally make a lot of the financial decisions, freely allow my insane hormones to make my emotions go haywire, love on my cats insanely, and dictate blogs about tea, life, and the universe. Not because of anyone telling me what was feminine or masculine, but because I want to be authentic to my true self.
If ultimately being authentically you means you are a male who likes tea cozies and My Little Pony or you're a guy that likes football and beer on Sunday, you are no less or more male, you are no less or more valuable for being authentic. Whether you're a female who likes pink and wears dresses or thinks that dresses are impractical and heels are stupid, you are no less or more female, you are no less or more valuable for being authentic. We can be what ever combination of "gendered" norms and still be us.,,if you are living your true self, you are being you.
I will leave you with this quote. My favorite author ever, Dr. Seuss (probably the greatest Existentialist and one we should immediately share with our kids/society), said,
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