Seasonal Thoughts Over Tea

Hey everyone, I feel the need to make this statement especially in the face of recent tragedies and the talking points that have come out of it all.

No generation had everything all right or wrong. At no time has society been easily painted with one brush or one color. In respect to each other, please remember that when you use trite generational oversimplifications you dismiss the good things achieved or accomplished by each group. Nothing before or after us will be the same as we experience.

What we can do, instead of pointing fingers at each other to say that someone holds more culpability than we, is start moving FORWARD rather than looking back. Looking backwards will only make us repeat the same mistakes and fall over the same stumbling block time after time. And instead of walking alone, let’s try to walk together. Let’s allow ourselves to be open to dialogue, be ready to LISTEN rather than put energy into being heard. Try to remember your kindergarten teacher’s favorite idiom, if you cannot say something nice… Better yet, just think before you speak, listen to what you’ve heard and give it a moment of thought before you say something unkind or without proper thought.

Researching your own point of view and supporting facts, as well as looking into the facts from others is also useful; not for use as “ammo” but so you can understand your own views and those of others without relying on “rhetoric” and “talking points” alone.
Let’s be better than the people causing death, destruction, and terror. Let’s show them that they don’t have it right, that the world isn’t cringing in terror of them. Reach out to your fellow people and SEE them. By seeing them, recognize their humanity, smile at them and acknowledge them, be kind to them not for any other reason than they are alive and you are happy that they are. The “Golden Rule” only works when we treat others like ourselves, but as I can see it, we don’t really treat ourselves well either. So love yourself. Love your flaws and faults. Celebrate your “beauty” (inner and outer). But don’t keep looking inward, because we are more than just this shell we inhabit. We are our experiences and our actions. When we act with dignity, we know how to treat another with dignity. When we love ourselves, we can love others.

I’m sick and tired of seeing hate, fear, and anger being the only language we speak. Those are forms of speech too, but they don’t solve anything. Our outrage is warranted but outrage does nothing without action and action to HELP is better than action to HARM.

In this holiday season, in this time my tradition calls the dark days we are given time to look within in order to be reborn with the sun. So let us reflect on ourselves and our actions and MOVE FORWARD as better people, and become lights in the darkness, become hope for happier days. Don’t let your anger and fear keep you trapped in the darkness without a light, let yourself reflect the light of the sun, even during the dark days. You may never be as brilliant as the sun, but the moon is breathtaking too and gives soft light to the night in which we walk.

#peace #blessings #darkdays #rebornlight

Open Letter to Tea Companies Advertising “Magical Weightloss” With Their Tea

Dear tea companies posting about “weight-loss” teas,

I understand that there are some companies out there whose majority purpose is selling tea as a weight-loss aid.  I am not going to knock your statements about helping the body detox, feel less bloated, ease digestion, or aid in weight loss.  I actually fully support the above statements as mostly honest assertions.  What I am taking umbrage with is your use of a single body type to demonstrate your effectiveness.  While I do not doubt that the pictures you keep reposting on Instagram are patrons that use your product, I do want to question the level of efficacy that those photos assume.  Or more specifically the unnecessary reminder to anyone without 4-8 pack abs who wants to have less bloating, a healthier digestive system, and a body detox work for them (those who do not fit the oft-used model figure) that they will likely NOT attain with the use of your tea.

Honestly, all the power in the world and tons of support to the ladies that are using the tea in conjunction with healthy living and possibly intense workout regimens.  I am not and will not be dissatisfied with those ladies.  I am, however, as an avid tea drinker and blogger asking you to have more well-rounded reposts or advertising photos utilizing a range of body types and women/men that have benefited from your tea.

I have definitely benefited from the Fit Life Tea 28-day teatox and will happily thank them for the lessening of bloating and the ease of digestion that I have felt while using their tea.  I will also thank them for giving me a tasty way to stay hydrated during one of the usually worst months for me as a fibro sufferer.  I’m not a model and even when I did have a more socially acceptable figure I did not show my stomach but I have noticed the benefits of the teatox.  I post often about drinking their tea and feeling good, many times assisted by their tea.  

One thing that I do find disconcerting is that while I have been drinking this teatox and working to have a healthier me, I have also been bombarded with images of ladies benefiting from other tea companies’ body aiding tea and have actually felt worse for not being able to fit the mold.  It hasn't been the fact that there are ladies with very beautiful bodies being shown, but that they seem to be the only body-type being shown.  They seem to be the only body-type for a good part of my feed and that is sometimes difficult to scroll through.

I drink tea to calm down, to have less stress, to stay hydrated, to have a delicious cup, to help my body cope, and yes to detox and possibly aid in weight-loss.  I am not saying you should completely do away with the model-concept of tea that assists weight-loss but perhaps instead of only pushing the physical aesthetic, you could also give a nod to the physical rewards not just viewable on the surface.  

I don’t know if the only people posting are only of a particular body type and if they are then great but try reaching out to a broader market by including more than one body-type to possibly benefit more than just those that already have their full-body-act together.

Many cheers and hopes for continued future success!

Tea Life Therapy Blogger, Emily

P.S. to all the ladies (we should also target more gents) out there that are of the body-type being shown, congratulations and keep on being awesome!  This is not a knock on you and I sincerely hope you are proud of yourself, your health, and your own efforts to have some seriously rocking physical features.  Best wishes and many smiles.

P.P.S. Later post incoming about my pitch to tea companies to target people with chronic illnesses (cause I'm a spoonie and I love tea)

Days When Fibro Ruins...Life

(sorry all - no tea...just therapeutic sharing)

Recently my ability to take things in stride seems to be at a minimum.  I have been having random flare ups in among the day-to-day crap and trying to not talk about it or even admit that I'm floundering in a sea of disappointment.

Last month David and I went to an AGB event and I was in pain, got overheated, and had been having negative mental consequences from everything involved with fibro.  I was pushing myself because I didn't want to be "that girl" who falls back on her illness and cannot just push through it.  I have been trying not to admit when I have been pushing too hard and it all seemed to pile up at game.  This isn't the first LARP event in the hot weather that has taken me out of commission for a few days but this was one of the worse ones.  In among the pain I also get very depressed, not because of anything but my already crap self-image and then being conscious of being a burden or a drag.  I had a pretty bad episode of fibro fog at one point during the day and got caught up in the emotions of my character when in the midst of trying to sleep off some of the worst effects...I failed at staying down and actually "in-game" lost my cool.  After losing it, I immediately got sick and had I been eating properly probably would have vacated my stomach contents.

I've been trying to figure out how to be more self reliant and more capable but it seems that I am losing what little ground I have gained in dealing with my symptoms.  I actually can drive a little by myself now and even managed a night drive home from my moms the other day but little things like walking in a straight line, stepping up or down stairs, opening a screw-top lid, or staying active for more than a few hours at a time seem to be deficiencies.

Tonight my emotions got the better of me and I just broke down crying.  David had been trying to work with me to figure out a healthier way to participate in the things I love to do and actually manage to have friends beyond a few.  I was lamenting the fact that I wanted certain people, who I think are pretty awesome, to actually like me...and I wanted to figure out what I was doing wrong.  This led to a discussion about me being better about balancing my feel-good and feel-crap moments so I am not collapsing or being completely worn out right in front of people.  David was being wonderful and caring and trying to help...but all I could hear was my own fears and criticisms about being worthless.  He didn't realize until about part way through explaining an issue, that I had completely taken a left turn back at the beginning and was quickly speeding off an emotional cliff.  So when he caught me mid-cry...it just made the dam break.  I had an emotionally exhausted cry and admitted to my darker thoughts and concerns in my despair from being "a broken doll".

I'm sick of being sick.  I'm tired of having to take naps all the time.  Of having to break up my "off-work" days into smaller segments of activity.  I hate having to let friends down because my ability to move or handle life is impaired.  I am angry at having to cancel plans to see family because I got sick from a completely idiotic stress moment at work.  And most of all I am sick of being handled like I will break at any second...and when people don't handle carefully...actually breaking.  It's infuriating and depressing - there is no other way to say it.  My ability to focus is out the window with fibro fog affecting my brain.  I have been trying to keep active and work out in short bursts but I HATE my body and I feel horribly ugly.  I look at myself in the mirror and wonder how my husband looks at me without being ill.  I try to stay calm and collected at work but my ability to cope with stress and frustration is completely poured into getting out of bed and functioning like a human being that I don't have a ton of spoons to dedicate to not overtaxing myself.

Today is not a good day.  Today was a day of ruined plans and crying.  Today was a day that my headaches got worse and not better.  Today was pretty low in the emotional stability department.  Today I cried not just for me but for the cost of dealing with me, of caring for me, to someone I love with my whole being.  Today I had dark thoughts.  Today I hugged my husband.  Today I tried to put things and feelings into words, to try to name the demon of pain that is warping my emotions.  Today I told my husband that I love him.  Today I tried to be the best person I could be.  Today I tried to be a good friend.  Today I prayed for a friend who is in the hospital.  Today I cried for someone else.  Today my fibro kicked my ass but today I kept trying anyway.  Today was not a good day but I hope and I will try
for a better tomorrow.

Blogging: Therapy, Sharing, Helpful...Not Another Stress

I generally suck at doing things half-way, I'm usually an all or nothing kind of person.  So when I started tea blogging I was posting a few blog posts a day, I was writing any thought I felt was worth putting down on the page and I was unapologetically issuing word vomit forth.  My use of the phrase "word vomit" isn't so much an ethical or quality assessment of the entries themselves, I actually think I was posting some good things.  What happened though was that I was stressing myself out trying to find something to post, I wasn't just posting when I found a worthy topic, I was thinking any random thought that came to my mind was needed.  I was also measuring my output by the amount of the page taken up or how many photos I included.  I was making myself sick by trying to make myself better.  I am still drinking tea every day and I am still happily trying new flavors out but I have taken a step back from the dedicated blog posts every day.  I am coming back now because I want to and not because I feel an obligation to.
If you follow my FB page or my Instagram you will see that I still do random posts there, but I started to dislike posting on Blogger, probably because I wasn't feeling inspired to write rather than an obligation to write.  No one should lose their voice that way.  It sucks.
So...I think I have found my voice again.  I will keep blogging, but I will blog when I want and not when I feel I must.  So - if you still follow this blog, then I encourage you to have patience with me and to watch the various means of posting that Tea Leaf Therapy has available to it, I will post where and when I want and I hope that in doing this I will share something substantial and helpful with you or at least offer some insight or comfort.  Thank you for reading this.  See you again soon!

That Time We Fought Unending Hordes of Kobolds...

It is Friday - so it's GAME NIGHT!!  We're playing a D&D campaign, that Rich is DM'ing, that is set in FUTURE Barran (yes, the same world base as our LARP chapter).  We're a small party of level three characters.  The Adventurer's Guild set our group of novices out into the woods...we happened upon a few small bands of kobolds.  The ones we fought are pictured to the right.  Anyway, so we thought it was just a few small groups but ultimately it turned out to be the location of the MF'ing CLOWN CAR OF MF'ing KOBOLDS!


We killed 58 kobolds before we had to call it a night, at midnight.  I was already tired from the work day so to put this lightly I was so tired I couldn't put sentences together let alone effectively communicate my attacks.  SO I just stabbed things that came at me or just kept five-foot stepping to attack the next dodgy MF'er.  At about 10:30pm I was drawing in sidewalk chalk on our attic floor.  I put up a "here lies" for the infinite kobolds that we were slaughtering.

"15 Azthayir - HERE LIEZ [INFINITE] DED KOBOLDZ"

By the end of the evening I was so fed up with kobolds that I asked David to write "DEATH TO KOBOLDS" on my arm in Suudic.  Suudic is the alphabet that David created as the written language of the Apsuudi or Dreamtime in Barran.  Yes, I was having a moment.  Don't worry everyone, I did not get this tattooed on my left arm.  I do think I will get a Suudic tattoo or something else to tell David I love him (yes I am weird)...but this would not be my phrase of choice.

I drank a few cups of white peach tea from +Adagio Teas while we gamed and it was a delightfully light brew.  So, I guess here is a custom made sales pitch for D&D geeks, "When you're slaying unending hordes of kobolds in a low-level campaign, quench your thirst with a pot of white peach tea.  You'll be able to stay awake enough to continue rolling the minimum necessary to kill every last one of those annoying and dodgy MF'ers."

Been Away but I am Back Now...Also Have Been Reading a Lot

So, I have been off the blog for a bit.  I haven't really been ill, just have been posting mostly to Twitter and Instagram.  It's not that my enthusiasm has dropped or shifted but that I find myself wrapped up in the routine of springtime.  I've sorted through all of my winter clothing and packed that away, I started wearing my springtime outfits to work, I've been enjoying the outdoors, we've been a little more social, and the LARP season is in full swing.  With all of this activity, I find that I am just relaxing and reading a lot while doing any of these things (except writing/playing for LARP, where I don't have time to read).  So I finished several very delightful books recently and have been steadily enjoying the tastes of sweeter, lighter teas instead of the darker "winter" black teas.  I have also been cold/cool brewing most of the tea during the daytime.

I filled out the Spring Interview form for Drink Militia and got to answer some fun questions.  It brought me back to writing about tea and my passions for tea, so I am trying to come up with my Spring/Summer inspiration for blogging.  Maybe I will come up with pairings or baking recipes that use tea.  Not sure yet.  Obviously still tea blogging but maybe tea as an addition to life and not the center.  This sounds funny to me because I have tea almost every day of ever, so it is definitely more than a simple addition to my life.  This discovery process should be fun as I figure out how to direct the next few months of the blog.


The LARP season has been going well and we've had two very good events.  David is stepping down as Assistant GM and will not be running events any more.  I will continue for now as the Head of Plot but I am mostly writing the world background, additions to race and world packets, and giving explanation or definition to things.  At this point I am not, nor do I want to, run weekend events.  We have been working non-stop for four years now and I am needing a break.  We're not stepping away 100% and we both plan to write for the current storylines we have going and I still keep trying to expand on and complete the pieces I have been working on.  The fibro is making me more and more tired from fighting to keep going during the week, so I think David and I are making some smart decisions to not grossly impact our lives or health too much more than we already do.  Rich is holding firm and he has an awesome new guy helping out with props, Tyler.  I think he's awesome and his girlfriend is wicked sweet.  SO YAY!  Rich wrote some awesome stuff for the second event and he's been getting help from several different sources, so I am happy to see everything working out.  David and I are going to try to actually PC a bit this year.  He's going to play a Croc with my Red Widow (yes, this may mean nothing to you...but you could also just check out www.alliancegettysburg.com for some info).  I am very very excited.

OK.  I should get back to things but I will hopefully be back in the habit of writing more and at least more often in the near future.  Thank you everyone for your continued support and I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!  <3

My Mantra/Thought From The Day: I Am Durga, The Invincible

Today was interesting.  I thought for a good part of the day that I need more arms/hands to do a lot of tasks at the same time during my work day but also because my spiritual heroine is Durga, so I kept imagining I was as strong and fearless as her.  Several times through the day I tried to manifest aspects of the Devi so I could vanquish my nerves, pain, and fear and come through the meetings and work tasks - victorious.  So definitely today's Mantra was "I am Durga, the Invincible".

I walked in to work to several positive "reviews" of my hair and even later in the day some joking statements from my boss.  I then immediately had several documents to process and handle waiting in my inbox, so I grabbed them and worked on that while trying to coordinate several other activities for the day.  I had +Zest Tea Blue Lady Black tea to start my day, thankfully it kicked in and I woke up and was able to process my work without too many yawns.

David and I had lunch in the breakroom, thankfully I had some delicious green tea from +The Republic of Tea and an +EVOL Foods Fire Grilled Steak Bowl.  If you've been reading this blog for a bit you will know that my favorite quick green tea is the Republic of Tea Double Green Tea, so pair that with a delicious bowl of steak, cilantro, black beans, YUM!  A great and tasty lunch.  The best part is, of course, being able to spend my lunches with my wonderful husband.  Sadly, I had to cut lunch short since I had a meeting at 1pm.  The good part is that I was so excited for this meeting, it is a good opportunity to help shape the future processes and processing at work and I want to do my best to help.

During the meeting I was nervous about speaking out of turn but after a while I started sharing my opinion and trying to point out issues with the current processes and how we can make fixes.  I didn't have tea with me...and because I started to get anxious during the meeting with policy and management involved, I bit and chewed through the skin on my right thumb.  OW!  I think I am going to bring my travel mug with me tomorrow so I have some tea to calm me down.

When the day was done today I got home and worked to finish and send all of the plot responses for Alliance LARP Gettysburg.  I wanted to make sure the responses, even notices of "beware stuff is coming your way during the event" went out before the event this weekend.  I will probably NOT want to channel Durga for this weekend, since I want my PC's to live through the weekend (HAHA).  But honestly, looking back at it I think the Universe was very kind to help me get through the day today, to help me be articulate and clear when necessary, and to allow me to calm down with a good cup of green tea after the meeting too.  Starting my day off with a zing of caffeine from the Zest Tea, Blue Lady Black, definitely helped and as from previous posts - I am a huge fan.

I am pretty sure Durga would be a seriously deadly lady (even more than she is already) with some Zest Tea to help her focus and be awake.  Oh wow...that is a scary thought.

Well with that, hope you all have a great night!  Sleep well and sweet dreams!  Blessings!

I Dyed My Hair COOL Colors!! (Also, Fibro Does Not Like The Process)

Sunny happy Sunday!
Today was very relaxed.  We went to Wegman's to get me lunches for the week and then to Sally's Beauty Supply for hair dye.

I love Wegman's!  It is wonderful but the NEED to get Good Belly products so I can keep on my reboot plan.  I still have a carton, so I am hoping I can find more later this week.

(Anyway, back to the story of the day) I have wanted to get my hair colored to fun cool colors like purple and blue for a while but the cost is prohibitive.  Thanks to friends on FB I was directed to Sally's for options and I was very pleased with what I found.  THANK YOU JEN!

We got home and I made myself a cup of tea.  I made a large cup of my personal blend Sturgeon Moon from +Adagio Teas.  I love the cool and fruity taste of rose hips and pina colada - so is the perfect cup.  I keep having the thought that I might have to buy more of my blends since I think I am drinking those faster than others (who would have guessed I liked the tasty tea blends I put together with mostly my favorite flavors? hehe).

Anyway, so it takes forever to bleach my hair and my scalp HATED me during the whole process.  I wasn't having a reaction but my head sure hates that feeling.  Thankfully the +Splat Hair Design kit works quickly or I would have been unable to get through it.  My hair has a red tone to it, so there is always a bit of copper color left over when I make my hair blonde and I didn't have the patience to try for white platinum hair.  I am pretty sure my scalp is thankful.  So I applied the Color Brilliance Brights violet and cyan dyes after I had let my scalp rest a bit.  There is no peroxide or any other painful chemical in the color dye and it went in well.  It is a semi permanent color cream.  I AM SO HAPPY with the end result and am excited to do this more often (the color not the bleaching).

Anyway, the whole process took some time and my body decided to protest in several ways, my right arm went completely numb at one point and then half way through trying to clean the bleaching stuff out of my hair it woke back up and decided to twitch like I was being pricked with very large needles and thin blades.  Thankfully I am getting way too used to this random crap so I kept going as I could.  I am so happy with the color.

I LOVE THIS CUP!!!
(its on my Amazon Wishlist)

I made myself two cups of tea as a celebration as I sat down with David after it all was done.  Tasty tasty Balmy Fruit Salad blend from +Adagio Teas (another of my personal blends) and Blush & Bashful from +Tea Hugger.  YUM!!!  David laughed because I was carrying to full mugs of tea but he told me that he is so happy to see me smiling and happy (and he thinks I'M CUTE! *definitely say that with Rudolph's voice*).  So I sat down with my two tea mugs, my newly dyed hair, and snuggled down while I watched "Game the Movie" (aka David playing a video game) and put in my two cents every once in a while when decisions were being made.  David even changed Iron Bull's armor to be my favorite color of purple for me. YAY!

Now I am exhausted and hurting but very happy.  I had a #GoodBelly day (day 4)!  I have awesome colored hair!  I have an amazing husband who is wonderful and I love beyond explanation! and I had tasty fruity teas that made me happy.  Fibro symptoms were at a normal level for the last few months but didn't stop me from doing what I wanted.  So awesome Sunday and I hope this means my week will go well.

LOVE and HUGS!

Fibro Fog, Tea Breaks and Spring Cleaning

Today was rather aggravating for the issues of fibro fog and stupid stabbing pains.  As usual, I used my weekend wisely and spent the morning in bed trying to catch up on sleep missed throughout the week.  David came and woke me up at noon and we set about our day.  I wanted to pack away my winter clothing and fully switch to my spring/summer time work dresses.  So David went downstairs to play on the PS4 and get some painting in while I went about working on getting clothing sorted and packed up.

Thankfully I had thought about this before today, so when I was having a good day I brought my storage tub upstairs from the basement and had it sitting in the back room.  I went in, got all of my pretty summer/spring dresses out and threw them on the bed while I packed all of the winter clothes.  It was a nice cleanup and then while I was at it I re-filled my Aroma Dot with sandalwood essential oils, turned on the various artsy lights in the room and worked on sorting through some of the surplus stuff I had in the room.  David came upstairs and chuckled as I sat in the middle of a "tornado" of things.  He asked if I wanted to go out today and while I wasn't needing to, I thought it would be nice to get some time out of the house.

I went downstairs for a bit and made myself a few cups of tea, the first two cups were White Cab from +Short and Stout Tea and then Mrs. Fahrenheit from +Tea Hugger.  Both were delicious and gave me the nice pep to also work on tidying up the altar room.  I cleaned each of the statues, fixed up the table of sage leaves, lit some candles and incense.  I relaxed, having a few annoying stabs while working in my room and in the altar room, but I pushed through it.

When we went out, we stopped at Michael's Craftstore and then BAM! (Books A Million).  We went to Weis for taco fixings and then went home.  While we were out I was having a hard time staying focused and I was going in and out of "awareness"...so we tried to make our trips short but David was also very understanding when I was walking aimlessly through the store looking at EVERYTHING.  LOL.  He certainly is trying for the husband of the year award.

Other than the random fibro silliness, David and I had a nice time being out.  As always though, we were very happy to get home and just spend a quiet night in.  I am having a cup of Dream tea from +One Good Woman.  I worked on setting up David's Etsy store for his artwork and set up seven listings.  Now bedtime. YAY!

Sleep well all and tons of happy hugs.

Lots of Smiles & Good Belly!

One of my drawings

I went home from work early yesterday and stayed home today.  Been having a hard time with fibro fog and pain.  The +Fit Life Tea Teatox is working nicely to help with detoxing my body.  The Magnesium Malate seem to be working for me a bit, nothing really noticeable but I'll keep it up and try to get the benefits out of it.

I had a cup of Glendale Green Basil tea from +Teabox which is very tasty.  I like it a lot very tasty.  The aroma of the tea is grassy but sweet with a good flavor.  There is a bit of astringency to the taste but it isn't bad at all.  It was a good way to relax in the mid-afternoon as I woke up from sleeping until noon.

We found Good Belly at Giant yesterday and I started DAY ONE of the Twelve Day Reboot.  The results don't have to be immediate but I am hoping for some help with my tummy.  So here goes nothing. *crossing fingers for a smiling happy belly*

Below is a video of Postmodern Jukebox covering John Legend's "All of Me".  This is the song David and I danced to at our wedding.  It always makes me feel better.  I hope it gives you a smile.

Body Positive and Loving Everyone!

Work wasn't so bad today.  I started out my day with +Fit Life Tea Teatox.  I also took the magnesium malate pill that my mom wanted me to try (it's technically day 3).  The magnesium malate is supposed to help with my fibro pain, so here's hoping.  I took the Teatox and ultimately got two cups out of that in the morning.  I had a cup of Energy Tea too.  They are delicious!  I was very happy.  The colors are pleasant, the aroma, and the teas are sweet and delightfully palatable.  I am definitely thinking of getting the Teatox package.  So I'm going to keep up with their recommended intake.  I am not expecting to "drop" weight but I am hoping that this Teatox helps me clear out the ick in my system.  I am also thinking of finding a retailer that sells Good Belly Probiotics.

So I have been working on having a more positive body image, seeing as I have to start accepting that my body is going to be in some form of pain some of the time and likely won't be able to keep up to the pace I used to live and play as a younger person.  My friends on FB have been posting pictures of themselves in cute outfits for work or when they feel pretty so they can keep up the positive images in public and in their hearts.  I usually post tea and some smiling faces, but I think I will stop cropping out my body and start showing how cute I am (one of these days I will say that without needing to wink or smirk).

So - cute glasses (yay that they fit and look good on me) and my fav polka dot dress.  I have to wear the 'bolero' at work because apparently capped or no sleeved dresses are not "modest" enough...or my shoulders are enticing.  Not something I think I want to actively think about.

I chatted with Gep on Snapchat and he reminded me that I need to get off my lazy butt and get my labret piercing switched out soon.  Maybe get a jeweled lip-hugger.  I am thinking about also getting my hair bleached and then dye it semi-perm colors like lavender and sea blue.  I'm excited to see if I can do this, even with my short short hair at this point.

I think I will keep trying different combinations of teas and likely will drink the +Fit Life Tea Teatox tomorrow too and will also try one of the +Steepster Select tomorrow.  For now - I will leave you with some of my favorite reminders that I AM BEAUTIFUL!

OH, and if you didn't know this already - YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL TOO!

Lindbergh Baby & Fit Life Tea

Yesterday we had a delightful visit with my Mom and Dawn, we had early dinner at the Federal Taphouse.  It was very nice and we always love the food.  They also have 100 beers on tap to choose from, so I have a lot of fun picking different ones to try each time.  Then we went back to the house, had some tea (David had a lager) and celebrated my birthday with some Wegman's cheesecake.  IT WAS SO GOOD! (I LOVE LOVE LOVE cheesecake - especially with fruit!)  It was very nice of my Mom and Dawny. (LOVE YOU GUYS!)

So David and I are taking it easy tonight as we are both still ill.  We're watching this crime documentary series and the current case being examined is the Lindbergh kidnapping.  I am finding the examination of plant DNA as an evidence tool as a very cool idea.  David and I think there was someone closer to the family that had to have been involved but since NJ executed the guy they found guilty for the case it is unlikely anyone did much digging beyond that.

OH!  So I got a package in the mail today!  It was the samples from +Fit Life Tea and I am SO EXCITED!  Seriously - the box had the samples for their 3 different teas; Energy, Teatox, and Sleep.  A lip balm that is YUMMY! and a travel bottle with their logo!  I'm in LOVE!  I have been looking forward to this tea delivery because I really want to try it out and see if Teatox is as amazing as it seems.

I cannot wait to bring the samples to work and try them out, well Teatox and Energy.  I am sure I don't want to sleep while at work...not if I want to keep my job.  Watch in the coming days as I try out all the different Fit Life Teas and others. YAY!

And now for the other really excited moment of my day - the trailer for "Le Petit Prince" is out!  See below:

Tornado Watch/Warning Means Blog Time

So, David and I have been down with the Spring "Flu".  It seems like everyone has gotten some version of it.  My chest hurts and I am sick of having a scratchy throat.  This weekend my +Adagio Teas showed up with my IngenuiTEA Teapot.  I am absolutely in love with this teapot.  Below is a video on how to the Teapot works:

I also got a 3ox pouch of my personal blends on +Adagio Teas - Sturgeon Moon, Flower/Milk Moon, and Balmy Fruit Salad.  I've had Sturgeon Moon and Balmy Fruit Salad at this point and I love them!!  I've had them alone and mixed with other teas - YUM!  I brought White Grapefruit and Apricot tea blends with me to work today, both hit the spot.  Good job Adagio!

My +Steepster Select box for April came in on Saturday!  It is all very awesome teas from Japan!  Last month was all from China.  I had some of the Sencha already and it was JUST right!  I was very happy and even had two cups of the tasty green tea.  I am very excited to try the other pouches.  I will keep you updated as I try each pouch.

OK - so we have a Tornado Watch/Warning in effect over Central PA and NWS keeps sending me alerts so we will see as it all goes along.  I am hoping everyone stays safe.

"Death in Paradise" Keeping The Fibro Away

So the week of April 2-5 was pure hell.  I was laid up pretty bad with massive cramps and some seriously painful bouts of pain.  In addition, I was apparently going on a roller coaster of hormones and my eyes were bugging out of my skull with allergies.  The weather was hell and I was having a "fun"time being wracked with weather pains.

(all rights and love to Ryan North, author of the above comic.  Please go to qwantz.com for more awesomeness that is Dinosaur Comics)

I stepped away because while I wasn't feeling well I was drinking old teas and resting a lot, so writing was not at the first of my thoughts.  After some of the stress of the last few weeks I needed to step away and just enjoy my teas.  I was able to get my brain and emotions back in order, which is what I needed.  So now I'm back. :D

David and I have been laying low after this last weekend's Alliance LARP Gettysburg event.  It went well but due to lack of sleep and both David and I being ill, we ran ourselves a bit ragged.  It was a fun weekend and I definitely cannot wait to see all our friends again throughout the season.  Hopefully I can feel inspired again soon so I can get more background done for Barran. (Yay being Head of Plot)

My birthday (I'm 31 now!) was Tuesday and we had a great evening before with the household at Brewhouse.  They don't have any alcoholic teas there but beer is tasty and I had several.  It was a beautiful day outside and we had a nice meal.  Several photos resulting (and placed in this entry)
 


David and I have our evening "relax and get ready for sleep" ritual/thing we do like watching fun TV shows or things that engage our minds but don't upset us.  We have watched Poirot, Murder She Wrote, Criminal Minds, Midsomer Murders, and several others.  We found a new show through Netflix called "Death in Paradise".  WE LOVE IT!  I definitely recommend it for anyone that likes murder mystery shows with a funny twist or quirky situations.  We're finding it funny to look at the show and see people from other BBC shows that we watch a lot.  A lot of villians from Midsomer Murders are victims or suspects in this series but thankfully the characters are completely different so it's not an overlap.

Tonight, I've been drinking a mixture of One Good Woman's Dream blend and +Adagio Teas fandom blend Aurora.

During the day at work today I had the +Kates Magik "Passionate Love" blend and the +Zest Tea Apple Cinnamon blend.  I was able to get through the day without much issue, even a supervisor meeting didn't really stop me from getting my work done and not having an overly stressful day.

BTW - love you all and thank you for your support.  I hope I can get back into a regular pattern of posting again.  *LOVE*

PMDD & Endometriosis - Harder to Explain than Live With Sometimes

I am going to preface this blog post with this warning.  Herein I will be discussing menses and disorders that effect women due to hormonal changes or biological issues from menstruation.  If you are uncomfortable with the discussion of menses or "female issues" I would encourage you to return another day.  Love!

Last week into today has reminded me how blessed I am to have a spouse that understands me and my medical issues and is willing to work with me through very difficult recurring issues.  Things I have very little control over and have major disruptive activity in our life and in our relationship.  The reality of the everyday widespread pain from Fibromyalgia is actually an easier pill to swallow on most days than the "insanity" that comes "once a month".  As a little bit of background I'll explain the two menstrual based issues.

PMDD, or premenstrual dysphoric disorder, is so much more more than bloating and cramping before a period. It is also not to be confused with PMS, which can best be described as it's family member once removed.  PMS gets a bad rap in comedy, society, and even among women,but it is generally acknowledged as a reality.  PMDD is still completely misunderstood on multiple levels, to the point that most sufferers are considered to be "making it up" or being "melodramatic" by friends, family, and even themselves.  PMDD is a mood disorder that accompanies other premenstrual symptoms; PMDD gets more severe as the period draws near.  Some debate exists about the timeline of affect but it is not a constant "everyday" issue, but one that repeats itself cyclically.  Symptoms usually begin after ovulation and last into the first days of the period.  Most sufferers report issues of very high tension, anxiety and aggression. Other existing mood disorders are enhanced.  The condition affects up to 8 percent of women.

Most women, myself included, are able to go back to a normal state of feeling after the onset of menstruation, mine is always tied in with my moods until the second or third day of my period and then I actually return to my normal moods, save the pain from endometriosis.

Personally, I suffer from the following symptoms:

• Depression w/ hopeless feelings
• Feelings of anxiousness, tension or edge
• Irritability that increases as period nears (for me usually tapering off after the 3rd day)
• Lack of interest in favorite things
• No motivation
• Difficulty focusing and concentrating
• Loss of control feelings, feeling overwhelmed
• Suicidal thoughts
• Severe physical manifestation of PMS symptoms like tender breasts, cramping, and bloating

On top of this I also have endometriosis which is a painful disorder in which tissue, endometrium, that normally lines the inside of your uterus grows outside your uterus. Endometriosis usually involves the ovaries, bowel or pelvic tissues.  With endometriosis, the "displaced" endometrial tissue continues to act as it normally would, thickening, breaking down and bleeding with each menstrual cycle. Because this displaced tissue has no way to exit the body, it becomes trapped.  Surrounding tissue can become irritated, eventually developing scar tissue and abnormal tissue called adhesions.

I'll list the symptoms I suffer from:

• Painful periods (dysmenorrhea). Pelvic pain and cramping may begin before and extend several days into your period and may include lower back and abdominal pain.
• Pain with bowel movements or urination. You're most likely to experience these symptoms during your period.
• Excessive bleeding. You may experience occasional heavy periods (menorrhagia) or bleeding between periods (menometrorrhagia).
• Infertility. Endometriosis is first diagnosed in some women who are seeking treatment for infertility.
• Other symptoms. You may also experience fatigue, diarrhea, constipation, bloating or nausea, especially during menstrual periods.

You might read this and say "So...you're in constant pain" or "Wow, you're a wuss" and actually both would be incorrect.  There are some times I am actually "asymptomatic" but those days are very few and far between and I cannot remember the last time the days were consecutive.  My specialists and I have conversed about these two menstrual based issues in addition to my almost every day Fibromyalgia pain.  We have discussed the realities of what my mind can handle on a regular basis and their overwhelming statement has been to avoid stress and to try to step back, to rest, when I need to.  You might not be surprised to find that I suck at stepping back in enough time to catch myself before collapsing in a pile of pain or in a massive depression (or even anxiety).

I live every day to my best and try to be positive and happy but their are some days where I won't win that fight.  Today and really this week (starting with Sunday) have been that point for me and while I know a lot of my responses to things are abnormal or even "overwhelmed" I have to react to them to the best of my ability and interact with the world and my own emotions in the best way possible.  I can say that almost breaking down crying several times today from stress and frustration has been a plentiful reminder to step back.

I know I post about my personal medical issues more than most would wish to discuss, but I honestly think it needs to be said.  Otherwise the guilt that I and other women feel for actually being depressed or irritable or unable to move, exist during our menstrual cycle will continue being a "joke" and not a recognized issues that really does cause a lot of sufferers to suffer in silence until they say or do something about it, oftentimes the "do something" is not a desirable outcome as it can manifest as cutting, self-harm, and suicide.

David and I handle the issues as they happen and he has gotten wonderful at understanding that certain time-frames in the month usually mean I will rage for very small issues and that I will break down crying for "no reason" or that I will probably spend insane amounts of time in the bathroom, need to have an extra sleep pad on the bed, or that I might scream in mind-bending pain and that he can ask how I am but busting into the bathroom to check if I am OK is probably unnecessary.  These things are our reality and I am beyond blessed that I have a partner that understands this and works to help me.  That does not stop me from apologizing for being a burden, for crying, for raging, for being so massively depressed I cannot get out of bed, for just being unreasonable.  I will always apologize for them because I do not want to be a burden, I don't want to be that uncontrollable ball of emotion, I do not want to be the screaming virago that cannot control their emotions/rage.  I will, however, NOT remain silent about what I am going through.  I have been shamed enough in my life about the fact that I am too masculine/feminine, too fat/skinny/stacked, too loud/quiet...too...I will not be quiet about the times when I bleed so excessively that it "looks like a scene from Dexter" or that I screamed in pain so bad that I made my roommates come running to the closed bathroom door or that I have thought of suicide when I felt hopeless and aimless right before my period or...that I get depressed every time someone asks me "when I am having children"...

I will not be silent because too many people are and I have a voice to tell people that what I am feeling or what I am experiencing is not "in my head" or due to "hysterics" but because I have two medical issues linked to my menstruation and it is, at times, debilitating and humiliating.  I won't be silent because I may feel shame for some things but I will not be shamed for being honest.

When the Religion "Scholar" Watches Penny Dreadful...(and then Stigmata)

So I put "scholar" in quotes because I don't count as much more than a dabbler who has happened to study religions since she was young, somewhat officially unofficial.  I love studying religions, religious/spiritual philosophy, and world mythos.  In doing so, I see a lot of religious statements or references in different media.  Obviously watching shows with obvious religious connection or references causes this to be very directed.  I sit and talk to David and he puts up with me as I go on and on about how beautiful something is, about how gorgeous a vision/expression of faith is.

We're watching Penny Dreadful and there are several moments in the show were the religion dabbler in me goes "HEY!  That was so cool!"  Well, when we were watching a scene with Eva Green's character being possessed, David and I were debating some of the significance of scenes.  Especially near the end of the show's first season there are moments that REALLY resound with me and I look at it with this huge grin and excitedly point at the screen and giggle.

I like looking at things in a spiritually optimistic light, finding "grace" in even a dark moment.  So watching Penny Dreadful with some very heavy religious moments and then the HOLY WOW religious statements being made in Stigmata, I am a happy bunny.  I see happiness in acts of faith and believe things most people find depressing have a beautiful side.  David and I differ on which version of Stigmata we like and it definitely ties into our views of things "faithful" and "earthly".  No worries though, we both respect each others views and love and celebrate our difference of opinions.

Of course, in my usual fashion I am watching this with a cup of tea.  I ended up having two different teas actually.  One was a +Tealated tea called "Cream of White Coconut".  It is delectable with light sweet tropical taste that compliments the delicacy of white tea.  I think this is definitely a "dessert tea".  I really liked it and I am definitely going to order some from them.  I ended up re-steeping it and the taste held up well.

Next I had a cup of "Pascoe's Woodlands" from +Teabox.  It is a nice green tea with citrus and basil.  The mix of the vegetal taste of green tea with the hints of citrus and spice/crispness of basil makes for a tasty cup.  I am definitely a fan.  Even as my tea was cooled it tasted good and I very much enjoyed it.  I think it is a good non-infused or artificial green tea that any one, regular tea drinker or first timer, could enjoy.

So this was my evening.  I also had a delicious JASMINE OOLONG from +Tea Ave during the day.  I was very happy to have this tea today and it was nice that I could enjoy a tea after having to be poked and prodded in my dentist appointment.  Sadly my medicine causes me to have bleeding issues in my gums.  There is nothing wrong with my bones or teeth but my gums bleed and are easily irritated.  My dentist ordered a consult with a gum specialist and he thinks it is my fibro meds.  Nothing to be done about it but be careful to brush and floss, though my dentist is also very proud of me for how healthy my teeth are.

So...remember happy thoughts tonight, I leave you with part of a Lawrence Welk Show song that my Aunt Marie used to sing to me:

"Good night, sleep tight and pleasant dreams to you
Here's a wish and a prayer that every dream comes true
And now 'til we meet again
Adios, au revoir, auf wiedersehen
Good Night!"

It's 101 Dalamations...If By Dalmations I Mean Blog Entries

YAY!!  I have as of March 30, 2015 reached 100 blog entries, so today March 31, 2015 makes it 101!  I think 101 is more interesting, because just like the movie about the dalmatians, it isn't amazing until there are 101.

Sadly, this is also the day that my Endo decided to just flip-the-heck-out and kick me in the uterus, so my 101st blog post won't likely be a long one or filled with some grand epiphany.  I've been musing again recently and feeling poetic, so I am working on a poem in support of TDOV or Trans Day of Visibility.  I will post it as soon as a draft becomes coherent (or at least makes sense to my messed up mind).

While at work today I got to enjoy Blue Lady Black from +Zest Tea, which was (as always) delicious and wonderful.  Thank goodness for it and the caffeine or I would have been far more challenged today than necessary.  I swear to the heavens I have been wanting to just throw papers into the air and walk out but I do still love my job...despite having days I hate.  The Blue Lady Black tea got me on the go and tasted great with the citrus notes.

I had a lot of work to do to make up for the fact that we are now down on staff.  I thought Brad was going to rage quit today and I really wouldn't have blamed him but I really was/am not in the mood to fight at this point so I told him to do what he thought was best.  I appreciate the work he is doing and the work that Jen did but that doesn't make me want to beg since I have also been asked to work with low resources and "pull together" even when I thought it was overburdened and unfair.

I did some spring cleaning yesterday and that seems to have made my desk a little more user friendly for the added work that I'm getting now.  I have a ton of tulips, mini daffodils, and mums at my desk in addition to the other plants I already had.  This is a nice addition too since drinking tea and flowers seems to be the highlight of my days at this moment.  Not to worry though, I know things will get better, I just have to weather the storm.  OR I find myself another job, but in the meantime I need to live with the situation I have and make the best of it.

Near the end of the day I had some tea from +Rishi Tea called Jade Cloud Oolong, it was in my March delivery of the +Steepster Select club.  It was good but I am not a fan of the "grassy" smell or taste of some green teas and this sadly had those qualities.  It wasn't bad and I would say that it was something that I could get over but I make a lot of my eating and drinking decisions from scent and first taste and sadly this wasn't a favorite.  Oh well, it has to happen some times.  I would definitely say it was a solid tea though.

So this was my semi-uneventful 101st post.  I truly hope to have several hundred more.  Maybe I should think of something clever to do for the 202nd post.  Maybe a contest or a crazy video montage?  Maybe a vlog post...though I am not very video friendly.

Because I found this clip interesting and it's the 101st post, I am including a partial episode of "How It's Made - Tea" from Discovery Channel (all rights and credit to Discovery Channel and How It's Made)